life's lessons through kids

The last few weeks have been a battle for me. A battle physically, spiritually, and mentally.

First off, I battled one of the worst sinus infections I've ever had. I was so sick I couldn't keep anything down and couldn't get out of bed due to a raging migraine that lasted for days. During this time the only thing I could do was lay there and think and pray. God and I did a lot of chatting during that time. The fact that right before all this hit pink slips went out in the districts bringing with them a rather gray cloud of doubt and worry for many of my friends that soon trickled down to me. I began thinking, if my friends who are teachers and have been there for a few years are in jeopardy, what are my odds? Slim to NONE.. with more of an emphasis on the latter. God really began to impress upon my heart that I needed to stop looking at it with the glass half empty mentality and begin to work on my attitude. He is in charge and will provide.

Since our college group has stopped meeting I've kind of felt lost. I've been praying that the Lord would guide me to where I'm supposed to be. Two weeks ago I started going to my church's young adults ministry and I'm beginning to really love it. It's different than the ministry I was in before and I'm trying really hard not to compare the two, but I think the more I go, and the more involved I become, the more it will begin to feel like home.

This last week I've kind of been the bouncing ball in education. I've subbed two days in high school, Kindergarten, and then junior high math. Even though Kindergarten is not my thing on a permanent basis, God used the little rascals to remind me of what true worship looks like. I turned on the Jana Alayara CD on Tuesday for them to do a few songs in worship, and to my surprise each and everyone one of them begins singing the songs at the top of their lungs and getting all into the worship. I had one of those moments where I thought, "What if we as adults cast off all our insecurities about worship and how others viewed us and could worworship the Lord fully like these little guys?!" What an awesome thing that would be! So I jumped "on board with the Lord" (and the kindergartners) and we sang our hearts out about living life according to God's Word. then.. I moved on to junior high.. and though junior highers are ... well special I guess is the best word for them! :) I found they too taught me a lesson. I was dealing with a particularly challenging class of 6th graders who didn't really want to take their math test, and were full of the giggles, the more I fought to gain control, it seemed the more their little senses of humor and lovable spirits made me start to smile and eventually laugh. They were just too much. You'd think they'd be too cool to come and give hugs, but the girls come running up and say, "I haven't hugged you today!" Oh that we would be like that with God.

Needless to say I'm back in high school today, back to the land where drugs, gangs, and teenage hormones reign supreme. Just when I think I know where I want to be next year God changes things up. I thought I wanted to be in public school, there's such a mission field here; but after my few days at Western, I find myself wishing for my smiley face Jr Highers and elementary kids who love Jesus and aren't afraid to tell you so. Where are you going to put me Lord? That's the question I keep asking.. and for now, He smiles and says "Just you wait and see... ;)"