Today was another day of no subbing.. I've noticed that when I don't sub and I don't get up and get outside at some point in my day, I feel as if time has flown and I've not been very productive. This is largely due to the fact that much of the last few weeks has been filled with job searches, and massive papers/reading for my grad classes.
Today I decided it was such a beautiful day that I was going to go for a walk. I needed to go to the bank and the store, and since my bank is in Albertsons, I chose to walk there. I knew it was about a mile one way if I take my favorite route. The route heads down a road that dead ends near my house and is lined with equestrian ranches and cattle and open sprawling beautiful green hills. I love living in the hills, because I get to live in the city, but also feel like I'm in the country.
So I started my walk.. as I past the equestrian ranches I waived to the gardeners and horse trainers I passed. It was a beautiful day for a walk, I turned on my ipod and blasted country music and just enjoyed the scenery. Once I reached the store I realized that it was a little bit further than I thought. I headed home and on the way home I saw quail, bunnies, cows, horses, squirrels and lots of beautiful birds and wildlife. It made me realize how amazing God is. Being the history geek I am I began thinking about how the land looked like 160 years ago when the earliest settlers of the area would've been arriving. It was nice to find spots where there were no people, or development and its pure untouched green hills.
When all was said and done, my hour walk took me a little over 3 miles round trip, but it gave me a great time to sing country and not have anyone hear, and also take in the beauty and creativeness of our God. I think we all need to do this every once in a while.. Be still and know!
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
life's lessons through kids
The last few weeks have been a battle for me. A battle physically, spiritually, and mentally.
First off, I battled one of the worst sinus infections I've ever had. I was so sick I couldn't keep anything down and couldn't get out of bed due to a raging migraine that lasted for days. During this time the only thing I could do was lay there and think and pray. God and I did a lot of chatting during that time. The fact that right before all this hit pink slips went out in the districts bringing with them a rather gray cloud of doubt and worry for many of my friends that soon trickled down to me. I began thinking, if my friends who are teachers and have been there for a few years are in jeopardy, what are my odds? Slim to NONE.. with more of an emphasis on the latter. God really began to impress upon my heart that I needed to stop looking at it with the glass half empty mentality and begin to work on my attitude. He is in charge and will provide.
Since our college group has stopped meeting I've kind of felt lost. I've been praying that the Lord would guide me to where I'm supposed to be. Two weeks ago I started going to my church's young adults ministry and I'm beginning to really love it. It's different than the ministry I was in before and I'm trying really hard not to compare the two, but I think the more I go, and the more involved I become, the more it will begin to feel like home.
This last week I've kind of been the bouncing ball in education. I've subbed two days in high school, Kindergarten, and then junior high math. Even though Kindergarten is not my thing on a permanent basis, God used the little rascals to remind me of what true worship looks like. I turned on the Jana Alayara CD on Tuesday for them to do a few songs in worship, and to my surprise each and everyone one of them begins singing the songs at the top of their lungs and getting all into the worship. I had one of those moments where I thought, "What if we as adults cast off all our insecurities about worship and how others viewed us and could worworship the Lord fully like these little guys?!" What an awesome thing that would be! So I jumped "on board with the Lord" (and the kindergartners) and we sang our hearts out about living life according to God's Word. then.. I moved on to junior high.. and though junior highers are ... well special I guess is the best word for them! :) I found they too taught me a lesson. I was dealing with a particularly challenging class of 6th graders who didn't really want to take their math test, and were full of the giggles, the more I fought to gain control, it seemed the more their little senses of humor and lovable spirits made me start to smile and eventually laugh. They were just too much. You'd think they'd be too cool to come and give hugs, but the girls come running up and say, "I haven't hugged you today!" Oh that we would be like that with God.
Needless to say I'm back in high school today, back to the land where drugs, gangs, and teenage hormones reign supreme. Just when I think I know where I want to be next year God changes things up. I thought I wanted to be in public school, there's such a mission field here; but after my few days at Western, I find myself wishing for my smiley face Jr Highers and elementary kids who love Jesus and aren't afraid to tell you so. Where are you going to put me Lord? That's the question I keep asking.. and for now, He smiles and says "Just you wait and see... ;)"
First off, I battled one of the worst sinus infections I've ever had. I was so sick I couldn't keep anything down and couldn't get out of bed due to a raging migraine that lasted for days. During this time the only thing I could do was lay there and think and pray. God and I did a lot of chatting during that time. The fact that right before all this hit pink slips went out in the districts bringing with them a rather gray cloud of doubt and worry for many of my friends that soon trickled down to me. I began thinking, if my friends who are teachers and have been there for a few years are in jeopardy, what are my odds? Slim to NONE.. with more of an emphasis on the latter. God really began to impress upon my heart that I needed to stop looking at it with the glass half empty mentality and begin to work on my attitude. He is in charge and will provide.
Since our college group has stopped meeting I've kind of felt lost. I've been praying that the Lord would guide me to where I'm supposed to be. Two weeks ago I started going to my church's young adults ministry and I'm beginning to really love it. It's different than the ministry I was in before and I'm trying really hard not to compare the two, but I think the more I go, and the more involved I become, the more it will begin to feel like home.
This last week I've kind of been the bouncing ball in education. I've subbed two days in high school, Kindergarten, and then junior high math. Even though Kindergarten is not my thing on a permanent basis, God used the little rascals to remind me of what true worship looks like. I turned on the Jana Alayara CD on Tuesday for them to do a few songs in worship, and to my surprise each and everyone one of them begins singing the songs at the top of their lungs and getting all into the worship. I had one of those moments where I thought, "What if we as adults cast off all our insecurities about worship and how others viewed us and could worworship the Lord fully like these little guys?!" What an awesome thing that would be! So I jumped "on board with the Lord" (and the kindergartners) and we sang our hearts out about living life according to God's Word. then.. I moved on to junior high.. and though junior highers are ... well special I guess is the best word for them! :) I found they too taught me a lesson. I was dealing with a particularly challenging class of 6th graders who didn't really want to take their math test, and were full of the giggles, the more I fought to gain control, it seemed the more their little senses of humor and lovable spirits made me start to smile and eventually laugh. They were just too much. You'd think they'd be too cool to come and give hugs, but the girls come running up and say, "I haven't hugged you today!" Oh that we would be like that with God.
Needless to say I'm back in high school today, back to the land where drugs, gangs, and teenage hormones reign supreme. Just when I think I know where I want to be next year God changes things up. I thought I wanted to be in public school, there's such a mission field here; but after my few days at Western, I find myself wishing for my smiley face Jr Highers and elementary kids who love Jesus and aren't afraid to tell you so. Where are you going to put me Lord? That's the question I keep asking.. and for now, He smiles and says "Just you wait and see... ;)"
Sunday, March 15, 2009
I love these kinds of days!
So today was a "Behind the Scenes Tour" at the museum. This is the 4th weekend in a row that I've been at the museum,(and I'm working the next 2) not to mention I have to be there every Weds. night to do train the docent wannabees :) anyways... Phil offered to swap tours with me since I had the late shift for the day, but I told him I'd be fine. I'm soooo glad I didn't swap with him.
Today history came to life on my tours. On my first tour I had a 94 year old man who lived in La Casa Nueva (one of the houses at the museum) during the 20's. I had to priveledge of giving his family the tour of the house, and then he told me what he remembered growing up there and how he slept in one of the houses and what his jobs were at the ranch and then when we were in the courtyard of La Casa Nueva, we have a picture of the servants and workers on the ranch on display. There is a picture of him, his mother, brother and sister. He took the picture and said, this is me, and pointed to each by name. He even remembered taking it. It was soooo cool. I use that picture everytime I give a tour, and now when people ask is anyone who lived here still alive, I can say yes, Gavino, the little boy here, and I had him on my tour recently. I was sooo excited. It was like history jumped out the picture and into 2009 from 1926.
Throughout the rest of the day other members of Gavino's family were there (they had a reunion at the museum).
As if that wasn't enough excitement for me on the same tour that I had Gavino, I also had Pio Pico's great grandson. Pio Pico is another important player in the story we tell at the museum.
So because we had such a historical day.... we called Josette, a volunteer at the museum and... the great great grandaughter of Workman, to come so she could meet Gavino (since her dad and Gavino were friends) and Phillip (since their great grandfathers were friends)
It was soo cool to watch history come alive. I hear teachers discussing how they want their topics to come alive in their classroom, and while it's cool as a teacher to see it happen, it was so much more fun to have it come alive for me today.... Oo I still have chills! So yeah... I'm a nerd, but I love it!
Today history came to life on my tours. On my first tour I had a 94 year old man who lived in La Casa Nueva (one of the houses at the museum) during the 20's. I had to priveledge of giving his family the tour of the house, and then he told me what he remembered growing up there and how he slept in one of the houses and what his jobs were at the ranch and then when we were in the courtyard of La Casa Nueva, we have a picture of the servants and workers on the ranch on display. There is a picture of him, his mother, brother and sister. He took the picture and said, this is me, and pointed to each by name. He even remembered taking it. It was soooo cool. I use that picture everytime I give a tour, and now when people ask is anyone who lived here still alive, I can say yes, Gavino, the little boy here, and I had him on my tour recently. I was sooo excited. It was like history jumped out the picture and into 2009 from 1926.
Throughout the rest of the day other members of Gavino's family were there (they had a reunion at the museum).
As if that wasn't enough excitement for me on the same tour that I had Gavino, I also had Pio Pico's great grandson. Pio Pico is another important player in the story we tell at the museum.
So because we had such a historical day.... we called Josette, a volunteer at the museum and... the great great grandaughter of Workman, to come so she could meet Gavino (since her dad and Gavino were friends) and Phillip (since their great grandfathers were friends)
It was soo cool to watch history come alive. I hear teachers discussing how they want their topics to come alive in their classroom, and while it's cool as a teacher to see it happen, it was so much more fun to have it come alive for me today.... Oo I still have chills! So yeah... I'm a nerd, but I love it!
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Where does He have me?
There have been quite a few changes in the last 2 months for me. I've been working more (always a good thing), taking grad classes again (this comes with lots more homework than I was hoping for), there have been some changes in my ministries at church, and I've been getting worse headaches ( a side effect of working more haha... and my migraines seem to be really bad lately), just to name a few. However, the biggest change came for me this week as I started thinking about what I'm going to do next year.
While I know our nation is in an economic crisis, I've managed to remain largely unaffected by it for the most part. My job wasn't in danger, and thankfully my family is secure and safe. But this week as people have been asking me what I am planning on doing in the fall, (Will I continue to sub? or teach in my own room? ) I've been forced to open the compartment in the back of my mind I'd set aside for spring cleaning.. oh and well it's officially the spring semester, so it's time to start searching for jobs again. :/
The discouraging part is that education is the wrong field to try to be getting into right now, and sadly for many who have been in it for many years it's becoming the wrong field to be in. Districts are laying people off left and right, even if you've been there for almost ten years. I know God is in control of it all and that He knows where I will be and whether or not I get a full time job has already been decided by Him. When I sat down with my mom this afternoon to look at options, and decide whether or not I should start examining other careers away from a classroom, I couldn't help but be upset. I've worked long and hard, and I mean long hours of unpaid hard work with high schoolers and professors over the last 2 years to be where I am now. To say that I've poured hours of blood, sweat and tears into this would not be a lie. (The blood may be a slight exaggeration, but hey, I'm counting paper cuts that occur while grading papers) Basically, what it comes down to, is I have a short amount of time (5 years, but in teaching years that's a short amount of time) to "clear my credential". In order to clear my credential I have to teach for 2 years full time. This year doesn't count for anything and next year isn't too promising for getting a job that is not subbing. At the same time, I learned that if I opt to teach in private schools, I have to PAY for MORE SCHOOL!!! (If I teach in public schools they pay for it) If I fail to complete my two years, my credential will destruct in 5...4...3..2... just kidding! But, I do have to start all over again with the entire credential process, CSETS, student teaching, classes.... the WHOLE THING! Needless to say I was discouraged.
I hate giving up, quitting is not in my vocab, it never has been; but sometimes there are roads that we travel that God places a stop sign or a U-turn sign at and we have to obey. Right now I'm trying to read the road signs and figure out where He has me. In the mean time I'm praying that He will reveal where he wants me in school, work, and church ministries. While it's frustrating that I can't control my life's direction (I know I have control issues, God and I discuss this on a reoccurring basis) I'm also relieved that I don't understand my God. If I could understand Him all the time, He wouldn't be big enough for me, and there's a safety in knowing, as scary as it often is, that He is in control and there's nothing I can do to change that or to change how much He loves me. For that I am thankful. Now, if only I could see the road signs he has ahead... the only one that's clear blinks "wait patiently"...
While I know our nation is in an economic crisis, I've managed to remain largely unaffected by it for the most part. My job wasn't in danger, and thankfully my family is secure and safe. But this week as people have been asking me what I am planning on doing in the fall, (Will I continue to sub? or teach in my own room? ) I've been forced to open the compartment in the back of my mind I'd set aside for spring cleaning.. oh and well it's officially the spring semester, so it's time to start searching for jobs again. :/
The discouraging part is that education is the wrong field to try to be getting into right now, and sadly for many who have been in it for many years it's becoming the wrong field to be in. Districts are laying people off left and right, even if you've been there for almost ten years. I know God is in control of it all and that He knows where I will be and whether or not I get a full time job has already been decided by Him. When I sat down with my mom this afternoon to look at options, and decide whether or not I should start examining other careers away from a classroom, I couldn't help but be upset. I've worked long and hard, and I mean long hours of unpaid hard work with high schoolers and professors over the last 2 years to be where I am now. To say that I've poured hours of blood, sweat and tears into this would not be a lie. (The blood may be a slight exaggeration, but hey, I'm counting paper cuts that occur while grading papers) Basically, what it comes down to, is I have a short amount of time (5 years, but in teaching years that's a short amount of time) to "clear my credential". In order to clear my credential I have to teach for 2 years full time. This year doesn't count for anything and next year isn't too promising for getting a job that is not subbing. At the same time, I learned that if I opt to teach in private schools, I have to PAY for MORE SCHOOL!!! (If I teach in public schools they pay for it) If I fail to complete my two years, my credential will destruct in 5...4...3..2... just kidding! But, I do have to start all over again with the entire credential process, CSETS, student teaching, classes.... the WHOLE THING! Needless to say I was discouraged.
I hate giving up, quitting is not in my vocab, it never has been; but sometimes there are roads that we travel that God places a stop sign or a U-turn sign at and we have to obey. Right now I'm trying to read the road signs and figure out where He has me. In the mean time I'm praying that He will reveal where he wants me in school, work, and church ministries. While it's frustrating that I can't control my life's direction (I know I have control issues, God and I discuss this on a reoccurring basis) I'm also relieved that I don't understand my God. If I could understand Him all the time, He wouldn't be big enough for me, and there's a safety in knowing, as scary as it often is, that He is in control and there's nothing I can do to change that or to change how much He loves me. For that I am thankful. Now, if only I could see the road signs he has ahead... the only one that's clear blinks "wait patiently"...
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