does the golden rule have no weight anymore?

One of the things I've been struggling with lately is the how to effectively do what Christ has commanded us in Matthew 10:27

"He answered, "You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind. And you must love your neighbor as yourself."

I do fine with the love the Lord with all your heart soul and mind. Well I mean, I struggle with that as do most Christians in completely surrendering my heart, mind and soul completely to Him daily.

But here's where I really struggle... I find myself really struggling with a certain person in these verses. I know that we as Christians are all human, and we all struggle with things each of us different, some of us struggle with physical things, some emotional things, and mental things. How do you love someone as yourself when though they profess to be a Christian, in their deeds, and speech seems to be far from that? Comments are made that are above the overlookable level of rudeness, there is a conceitedness that seems to run throughout their speech and a heart that is not at all inclined to serve as the Lord commanded us. I know we aren't to judge each other, but the Bible also tells us we will know each other by our fruit. So if this person shows no "fruit like qualities" what does that mean?

It's taking all of my fruit of the spirit to handle myself in a manner that is worthy of bearing fruit. I think I've picked almost all of the fruit off of my tree in order to simply be around this person. My supply of self-control is running dangerously low, and so is my patience. The question I now struggle with is do I say something to this person, call them out so to speak on the things they have done that have been hurtful or damaging? Part of me that knows that "playground rules" apply here.

When my kids come to me during the summer and tell me that Jamie hurt Bob's feelings, I say John, go tell Bob that if Jamie said something that upset him HE needs to go tell Jamie, and then Bob needs to come tell me, not you.

I know the same is true in life, but just like my kids struggle with it, I struggle with it as well. I don't like to sit back and watch friends get hurt. I also don't like being insulted and considered as abrasive and mean when I actually do point out things that are in need of correction when I do it in a loving manner. Perhaps I need to pray more about my loving manner, because when frustration creeps in my lovingness and kindness (another fruit I have a feeling will be running low on in the near future if things stay as is) I can see how things could be taken incorrectly. Hence the reason I have hesitated making too many corrective remarks. I also want to make sure I'm not pulling a log and speck situtation as well.
I need the Lord to give me wisdom in how I deal with those around me that frustrate me. When people act with such disregard for those fellow believers and nonbelivers around them I feel frustrated to be associated with them. Almost as if my efforts in showing gospel has been tainted because of their manners and actions. Uggh.. I guess I just need to ask the Lord to help me grow more self-control and patience fruit on my tree.